Cold approaching is like marketing yourself, a gigantic targeted advertisement that you’re on the market. She most likely doesn’t want what you’re trying to sell her, aka you, but if you never try you’ll never make any sales.
I can also tell you from personal experience, I tried the friends of friends/clubs/social events approach. At least here in Ukraine it works like dog shit, not worth the effort. Now as I walk around the city in my day to day life I just beeline to any woman I find attractive and I do exactly this:
“Excuse me, do you speak any English?”
If no, I move on, if yes:
“I think you’re cute, can I have your Telegram or Instagram? I’d like to take you on a date later.”
If no, who cares. If yes I message her hello immediately and begin negotiating the time/date/place we are going to meet.
It’s one gigantic filter of no’s, which is great, because it allows me to find exactly what I’m looking for, someone who is attractive, speaks some English, single, and willing to go on a date.
Let’s break it down. I can do 100 cold approaches standing at a metro station in 3 hours, easily more, but let’s assume 3 hours.
Approximately 50 will stop and speak some English.
Approximately 25 will give me their contact information.
Approximately 12 will actually reply ever and not just ghost me.
Approximately 6 will actually be an “available” woman, aka no boyfriend and not married, not committed to working/school all the time, or otherwise some social red flag that makes me stop talking to her.
I end up with 1-3 in person dates for a drink or dinner when I do this.
That’s a 2% success rate overall just to get a date. What do I get on Tinder/Badoo/Bumble? Maybe 1 date a month using all my swipes if I’m lucky (I’m not paying for that shit). To compare, my buddy who is local Ukrainian and looks extremely good has a higher success rate per approach than mine, but he makes 1/4th or less the approaches I do, so I end up doing way better than he does. He’s constantly single and I always am juggling multiple dates or a girlfriend.
That’s just cold approaching outside. In bars I do a lot better, I estimate it at 10%+ to get a date because I do more social interaction.
The moral of the story here is, if you’re willing to put 8 hours in to a job you should also be willing to put in 8 hours to find a girlfriend or wife since that’s really what you want.