Lifehack – Teach English In Ukraine

I get asked often about teaching English in Ukraine and I want to say, yes, this is a good idea, for many reasons. It’s fairly easy to get a job teaching English in Ukraine if you have literally any college degree or a TEFL certification. There are many schools who will hire you as a native speaker, but the pay won’t be great. Private tutoring pays much better, but you’ll need to start somewhere to build up a client list and reputation and one of the many English language schools is a great place to start. However, the main reason guys come to Ukraine isn’t to work as an relatively low paid teacher, it’s to meet women! This is the main benefit of teaching English in Ukraine. You are going to meet a ton of local women. I know multiple guys who taught English not for the paycheck but just for the social benefits. Getting paid was just a bonus.

Another option is to attend one of the many social English/Ukrainian/Russian language meetups that happen frequently around the city. There are some long standing clubs that meet in public places just to have conversations in English and meet new people and I will gladly put you in contact with these groups if you contact me. They can also be great for just making new friends and opening new doors to social event invitations here in Kyiv.

/pol/ vs Reddit Cucks

I met a guy from Reddit who has been staying in Kyiv as an expat for 6 years. Since he was from Reddit I already know he is likely to be a cuck, and reddit did not disappoint. He invited along his Canadian “businessman” friend as well. I also invited Henners who I met from the Couchsurfing Telegram channel for Kyiv and met him for the first time. Henners and I were trolling the Couchsurfing telegram group chat and knew we had found each other being based in the middle of cucked chat. So it’s the 4 of us all having a good time, drinking, and hiding our power level when the legendary Jeff walks in fresh off the plane from America, back for his second visit to Ukraine. It didn’t take long but eventually I dropped the n word and this pissed off the Canadian redditor. He got super offended of course.

Jeff, being unaware of the situation and simply being the legend that is Jeff, reveals his power level immediately in talking to the Canadian. I simply watched as Jeff talked and the Canadian got more and more offended. Eventually the Canadian and his friend walked out on us, calling all of us sex tourists (as if he wasn’t the biggest one at the table). The Canadian left behind a nearly untouched beer, which I eventually claimed as the spoils of war against the redditors. A few more friends showed up including Nate and his girlfriend. Eventually I went and hit on a group of three girls as I typically do, and ended up getting Jeff and Henners at seat at their table to talk to the girls.

I left them with the girls and noticed two English speakers at the bar and so I introduced myself. Turns out they were British and literally glow-in-the-dark-CIA niggers. I had found glowies! They even showed me their ID cards. They had come to Kyiv basically to spy, probably on me. They admitted they had been eavesdropping in on our conversation. I ended up inviting them to join our table. We decided to leave shortly after, but not before I got given one delicious glowing sausage by the feds. Luckily it was not poisoned.

On the way out of the bar to go home there’s a pretty girl about to walk by so I tell the group someone needs to try to talk to her. Everyone is pretty drunk and no one is willing to do it. So I decided fuck it and I hit on her. I realized my phone was dead, so I gave her my Telegram and promptly forgot about her, until the morning, when she messaged me. We’ll see what comes of that…

The King Of Kyiv Gets Into A Fight

I often get asked about stories from my time in Ukraine and so I will be publishing a series of these stories.

Nate found me on a 4chan related Discord server known as /aan/, also called Adopt A Neet. This server is focused on helping people make connections and help each other out with common interests with an overall focus on improving oneself. I posted a message offering people to come to Ukraine which interested Nate and so he messaged me. After a very short conversation he booked a flight and had his travel date set. I gave Nate as much advice as I could in preparation and answered all his questions, but he wasn’t ready for the actual experience here in Ukraine.

Nate landed at the airport and took an Uber to Maidan (Independence Square) in Kyiv where I met him. We had dinner at an excellent Georgian restaurant on Maidan called Гамарджоба Генацвале-Gamardzhoba Genacvale which is my second favorite Georgian restaurant here in Kyiv. Of course I am biased here, but the best one is owned by one of my local Ukrainian friend’s parents. We had some excellent food and a few drinks, after which we moved to Copper Pub located on Maidan as well to continue drinking. Copper Pub can be a decent place to meet other expats due to it’s central location and proximity to hotels, and the prices are also decent and the service great.

I was only on my second beer at Copper Pub when a bunch of British guys showed up, possibly already drunk. I was telling Nate some funny stories and imparting some wisdom about Ukraine, what to do and what not to do. We were minding our own business off in a corner of the bar just having a good time. One particular British guy decided to make our conversation his business by eavesdropping and he did not like what he was hearing. He started accusing me of being racist, which was very surprising to me, as of course I am a racist. However, not wanting to make an issue of it and avoid any problems, I decided to go with comedy to hopefully diffuse the situation and get them to leave us alone.

I told the British guy everyone in Ukraine is racist, and also, how could I be racist? I have my Jewish friend Nate here with me and explained it’s all in good humor. I threw up a nazi salute and so did Nate with me and we had a good laugh. Unfortunately, this did not go over very well and they took it the wrong way. However, after a few more exchanges of words I thought things were resolved and we went back to minding our own business. This did not last long. Eventually one of the British guys came over to ask if I really was a racist. Again, I went for the comedy answer and showed him some things on my phone intended to make him laugh. While I was doing this, the original guy who had the real problem with me walked over to me, grabbed my phone out of my hand, and threw it against the bar. I stood up to go recover my phone and decide what to do about this, but the choice was made for me as I got hit in the side as I was standing up.

At that point I knew what needed to be done and I figured I had an advantage. I understand Ukraine and there would be no help coming, and most likely no cops coming either. Still wearing my crown I always wear when out, and with my full force I rammed the guy about 8 feet backwards and slammed him into the bar, then proceeded to beat the shit out of him quickly until he dropped to the floor. A scuffle happened and I got backed into the corner between the wall and the bar, but I never stopped throwing punches as multiple guys rushed me. Like Butterbean the boxer I just kept swinging until there was no one within reach to hit. Some of their group helped recover their guys and they took up position across the bar. Nate remained sitting the whole time, mostly in shock of what had happened so quickly.

The tiny waitress kept asking them to leave as they kept yelling at me. I challenged them to come at me, and certainly the waitress wasn’t going to stop them, but given they had already lost, they decided to leave. I picked up my crown which had fallen off in the fight and recovered my phone from the floor which was functionally undamaged and sat back down and kept drinking my beer. I had done what I had to do in order to protect my client Nate from the British cucks. I told him “Welcome to Ukraine”. Actually this was the only fight I had been in so far in almost 6 months, but there were a few other near altercations with local drunks I managed to avoid.

While going over the fight with Nate a local friend of mine who we will called Vlad texted me he was nearby and so I offered him to join us. A short while later he did and after finishing our drinks the three of us decided to walk over to Kreshchatyk street and help Nate gain some experience talking to women walking by, also called “day game”. We never made it to Kreshchatyk street. Half way there while walking through Maidan Nate broke the number one rule of Ukraine for newcomers, “Do Not Talk To Local Slavic Men”. He saw three guys drinking vodka on Maidan and decided he would ignore this advice and try talking to them. I was nearby talking to some girls so I didn’t see the fight, but the 3 local guys decided to attack Nate and Vlad. Multiple police officers were nearby and just stood there and watched as it happened, as is common in Ukraine. Luckily no one was seriously injured and we got out of there and went our separate ways. Nate learned the reason for the rule and the consequences of ignoring my advice quickly.

I hope you enjoyed the story of my first, and almost second fight in Ukraine, and hopefully this helps you to avoid problems in the future.

Temporary Residency Permit Information

In this article I am going to cover many of the things you need to know regarding long term stays in Ukraine and Temporary Residency Permits.

What is a TRP (Temporary Residency Permit?

A TRP is a Temporary Residency Permit. This is a legal document in the form of a plastic ID card which entitles the holder to certain rights and privileges in Ukraine. In order to stay in Ukraine long term and travel freely without worrying about visas and other limitations on staying in Ukraine as a tourist you will need to obtain a Temporary Residency Permit. The cost of obtaining a TRP varies depending on which method you use. The four most common TRPs are student, business, volunteer, and marriage. I will cover all four of these options and some of the pros and cons of each of these TRPs.

The process of obtaining a TRP is rather straight forward on paper, but in reality is a very complex process due to the nature dealing with the government in Ukraine as well as needing various official translation services and documents notarized. I have helped many people determine which TRP best suits their individual needs as well as help them through the process of obtaining a TRP and pointing them in the right direction. I learned all this information by spending months studying the process and meeting with numerous lawyers and other organizations offering TRPs in attempting to determine for myself which TRP was best for my own needs, as well as finding the most reputable and cheapest options in Ukraine to get the process done. While it is technically possible to do everything yourself to obtain a TRP, unless you speak fluent Russian or Ukrainian and have a background in law you absolutely will need assistance.

For most people the easiest, fastest, and cheapest option is a student TRP. You also gain the benefit of access to a university where you may attend classes, including language classes. Foreigners are extremely well liked and this also opens the door to numerous social events on campus. For most foreigners the social benefits alone, making friends and meeting women, make this the most attractive option for staying long term in Ukraine. The cost for this TRP is $2,000 USD and the TRP will be valid for 2 years. If you decide to get a student visa I will be able to personally help you through the entire process.

The second option is a business TRP. You’ll need to work with a lawyer here who will hire you to work for a company, make you the director of the company, then transfer the company to you. This requires a lot more paperwork, but gives you the legal right to work here locally in Ukraine. A business TRP is valid for 3 years and will cost $2,400 up front and approximately $3,000 USD in total over the 3 years.

The third option is a volunteer TRP. For this you will need to actually volunteer in Ukraine with a recognized charitable organization at least weekly. You’ll also need to pass an interview to be considered. The cost of this TRP is approximately $1,050 for 1 year.

The fourth option is a marriage TRP. For this you will need to actually find someone to marry while here on your tourist visa. If you manage to do this you can leverage situation into a marriage TRP which is valid for 2 years, after which you can become a citizen of Ukraine by marriage. If you find yourself needing help in this situation contact me for assistance getting this type of TRP.

In all cases, the process to obtain a TRP begins in Ukraine. You must start the process physically while present in Ukraine. The process can be made simple by signing a power of attorney to allow someone to file paperwork on your behalf, or travel around with an assistant to file the paperwork yourself. Once you begin the process in Ukraine you must travel to a Ukrainian embassy located in a different country to process your TRP application. Depending on your choice of embassy this can take one day, or possibly weeks waiting for the TRP application to be processed. I can assist you on planning this trip to make it as quick and easy as possible. With your paperwork in hand from the embassy you will return to Ukraine using this visa to enter Ukraine, then file for your Temporary Residency Permit physical plastic card.

The whole process can take anywhere from 15 to 30 working days, so you will want to start the process of obtaining your TRP with no less than 45 days remaining on your current tourist visa. The process can be expedited if you are nearing the end of your tourist visa, and if you need to leave the country after starting the process this is fine as the documents you need to file at an Ukrainian embassy can be mailed to you.

If you would like to start the process of getting your Temporary Residency Permit or have any questions about the process please contact me.

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